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Panel Round Two

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bodden, Maz Jobrani and Roxanne Roberts. And here again as your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill insists that limericks are a victimless crime. It's the listener Limerick challenge.

(BOOING)

SAGAL: Don't you boo Bill.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Maz, NFL players are now in training camp after the long summer off. They're interacting with their teammates for the first time in months. And according to The Wall Street Journal, players say that one of the biggest challenges they face as they arrive in training camp with each other is what?

MAZ JOBRANI: Getting back in shape, you know? Getting it going.

SAGAL: No, no, no.

JOBRANI: No - one of the hardest things when you get back in training camp after summer is...

SAGAL: Yeah, so you've been away from your teammates and friends for the summer.

JOBRANI: Is remembering their names.

SAGAL: I'm sure it's a problem.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, that's not it.

JOBRANI: They don't - they remember each other's names.

SAGAL: They do.

JOBRANI: That's a good thing.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: It's good to know the center's name, you know? I don't know. I mean, one of the problems could be...

SAGAL: I'll give you a hint - any quarterback who tells me what happened to Walter White gets sacked.

JOBRANI: Is it the guy's going to tell you? He's going to - spoilers - spoiler alert.

SAGAL: Spoiler alert - that, according to The Wall Street Journal, is the big problem in NFL training camps - avoiding TV spoilers. Brutal hits, relentless media scrutiny - no. The hardest part of training camp is avoiding spoilers of their favorite TV shows. But there is a simple fix. Someone tells you, say, what happened on "Scandal" before you saw that episode, go out to practice, get yourself a concussion, you'll forget it right away.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is true. Other players were talking about "Game Of Thrones." Somebody spotted a 6-foot-6 Browns tight end seriously covering his ears and running the other way.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Well, it's a great show? I've actually just started going through it myself. But yeah, I'm not saying anything 'cause yeah, I don't - I wouldn't say it. I mean, that's why I should be a - I would make a good football player.

(LAUGHTER)

ALONZO BODDEN: Yeah, there's a few other talents that are required, Maz - just - no spoiler alerts.

JOBRANI: I'd be like, I'm just saying. If you let me be quarterback, I won't tell you anything.

SAGAL: I don't know. I mean, it'd be great. It's like, well, he's small. He has no athletic talent. He can't take a hit. He doesn't even know the rules of the game, but he keeps his mouth shut about "Games Of Thrones" - starting quarterback.

JOBRANI: Yeah.

BODDEN: That's hard to believe that that is what they're worried about. I would've thought that it would be remembering names of wives, girlfriends and which is which.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Yeah, or maybe - or maybe opening up that uncomfortable conversation of like, so you got - you shot somebody over the summer, huh?

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Like, that's kind of - that's kind of...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No more than usual.

JOBRANI: Yeah.

BODDEN: Yeah, I don't think that's really that unusual a conversation for a lot of them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Alonzo, last week we talked about the crazy things all the GOP candidates were doing to get a bump in the polls in time for the debate. Well, this week, Ted Cruz might have topped them all when he put out a video of himself making bacon with what?

BODDEN: A machine gun.

SAGAL: That's right, Alonzo.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Ted Cruz put up a video showing, quote, "how we make bacon down here in Texas." If so, I'm amazed anyone is still alive in Texas.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: 'Cause he then wraps a piece of bacon around the barrel of an assault rifle, fires off a magazine and then eats the bacon.

BODDEN: I'm wondering what vote did he think he was going to get?

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Like, who wasn't going to vote for him then said, oh, he made bacon with machine guns. Well, that's my guy.

SAGAL: Yeah, oh, look at that. I was wondering - I really wanted to inquire of the various GOP candidates who ate bacon in a more lunatic fashion.

BODDEN: I'll tell you what - that'd be a great way to end that debate really quickly.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Well, I think what he's trying to say is that he's for ways of killing you because one's - one can kill you fast and the other one can kill you slowly.

SAGAL: That's true.

JOBRANI: Right, eat the bacon and die. It takes - yeah.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Or maybe it was...

BODDEN: OK, Maz, you just lost. You're anti-bacon.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: This is Texas we're talking about.

ROBERTS: I'm thinking it's a new twist on pork barrel politics.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Hey, get out of here.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And that's our show for this week.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

ROBERTS: I'm sorry. I actually feel the need to apologize for that.

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.