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Panelist Questions

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Roxanne Roberts and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

In just a minute, Bill appoints a new Rhyme House communications director, it's Hope Limer-hicks (ph). Hope Limmer-hicks (ph)? It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAITWAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, this week the Canadian government had to issue an official denial to the charges that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is secretly actually what?

PAULA POUNDSTONE, BYLINE: Indian.

SAGAL: No, although he did dress that way when he was in India, so I know why you'd say that.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: But that's not the rumor they had to quash.

POUNDSTONE: Can you give me a hint?

SAGAL: Yeah. Well, you can kind of see it when Prime Minister Trudeau puts on his fatigues and smokes a cigar.

POUNDSTONE: Castro's offspring?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: They had to deny this widespread rumor that the prime minister of Canada is actually Fidel Castro's love child.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Where does that rumor come from?

SAGAL: Well, it's not as crazy as it sounds because Justin Trudeau's mother, Margaret, was famously this jet-setting socialite back in the '70s, and she had admitted relationships with Ted Kennedy and Mick Jagger, so why not somebody who combined the first guy's politics with the second guy's hygiene?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: Yeah. If the rumor proved true, it would be the second time that a Cuban missile caused an international crisis.

(LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: I feel like Canada's just mocking us with their current leadership.

SAGAL: How so?

BURBANK: Like, we're dealing with what we're dealing with down here, and they're just like, yeah, check this guy out.

SAGAL: Yeah, I know.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: He's your friend's hot older brother.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: And he runs the country.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: And he seems pretty cool.

SAGAL: Yeah. He's so great, people are claiming falsely to be his father.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Yeah. Right.

SAGAL: Roxanne, good news for the ladies in the world. Meet Henry. Henry is gorgeous, he's got bedroom eyes, six-pack abs. He is always interested in you and available whenever you might need him. He is also a what?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Must be a robot.

SAGAL: He is...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...In fact, or he's a doll. These kinds of hyperrealistic, quote, "companion," unquote, dolls were always very popular with men, but honestly, we thought women were not that creepy. A company called Realbotix is betting they are. They've introduced to the world, Henry.

He looks Italian, sounds British and - this is true - he is programmed to ask you about your favorite TV shows and talk about how much he cares about you and your feelings. And then - this is built in - six months after you purchase him, he admits he's gay.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Thanks. Thanks, Peter. Thanks.

BURBANK: As soon as they do the software update on him, they need to add in the, no, keep telling me about your dream function.

SAGAL: Yes. Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: No, this is fascinating.

SAGAL: Yes.

POUNDSTONE: Do people really - I mean, do they - I know there's a thing where they're trying, like, therapy with a machine...

SAGAL: Yeah. You mean, like, an AI?

POUNDSTONE: ...You know, that just goes - yeah. It just goes, like - yeah. It - yeah. Isn't that - yeah. That must have really felt bad.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: It just says, like, mmm hmm, mmm hmm, and that kind of thing. I mean, is this - does this really work?

SAGAL: Uh huh (ph). Tell me more.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Luke, on Wednesday, Vladimir Putin gave a presentation about Russia's new nuclear technology. He says it can strike anywhere in the world. We are sure he didn't mean to threaten anyone in particular, but it's weird that his demonstration videos showed the missiles striking what?

BURBANK: Florida.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Florida - because nothing protects your investment in nuclear weapons like saying, do as I say or we'll nuke Mar-a-Lago.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Putin's demonstration, which is terrifying, shows nine missiles headed for a long, ragged, narrow shape that looks a lot like Florida. Makes strategic sense because the first rule of a global nuclear war is to take out your opponent's strategic dumb criminal reserves.

This nuclear technology is apparently amazing. Traditional missile defense systems can't stop it. It can reach any destination in the world and can apparently hit a target as small as Marco Rubio.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I just, you know, I always try to look on the bright side of these things, which is someday I'm not going to have to get rid of the leftovers in the refrigerator.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: That's one of my least favorite jobs, so that's good.

ROBERTS: But maybe your boy robot could do that for you.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: (Sings) Henry.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I'm going to have to have a whole car full of Henrys stationed outside my house because of those cross-country girls.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.