Panelist Highlights

Aug 17, 2019
Originally published on August 17, 2019 2:35 pm
Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis, and here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So we've got something special for you right now. Now, when we get together to do our show, we always spend a little time before the show begins to just chat with the audience. It's just a little time, you know, warming up not for air - until now.

KURTIS: If you've ever wondered what we talk about when we think you're not listening, well, listen now.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

SAGAL: I don't want to take too much time, but Paula had an amazing story because you flew here to Chicago not to do our show but to get a puppy.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I flew here to get a puppy two weeks ago just outside of Chicago. It was a - it's a Golden Retriever-Newfoundland mix, and it was at a rescue place outside of Chicago. And - but I flew in on that day where you guys had the huge snowstorm.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: And so me and the puppy were stuck in the airport for 24 hours. It outgrew the carrier while we were there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So you've been stuck - I don't know if you've ever been stuck in O'Hare. She was stuck there with a puppy.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. Yeah.

SAGAL: That was crazy.

POUNDSTONE: But it was good. There was something about it. Like, when I was back in O'Hare today, I was, like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember.

SAGAL: It's like your home now.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. I stood in line right here for four hours.

SAGAL: Yeah...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...With a puppy. And, Alonzo, you were talking about the fact that you've been getting sort of public radio people coming to your standup show.

ALONZO BODDEN: Yeah. I get NPR people who are coming to the show, and they're fun. They are nice. Like Tom says, they're nice. I can always tell them because they're the ones that ooh.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: You know, because I say a few things that I might not say here. And then I'm also on - I'm on Comedy Central's show "The New Negroes."

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: Oh.

BODDEN: So the NPR crowd can't say the title of that show...

(APPLAUSE)

BODDEN: ...Without...

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

SAGAL: Earlier this year, we learned that the Boston accent is considered one of the sexiest accents. And while that was surprising and somewhat unsettling - oh, be quiet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It did give us a chance to call up an old friend.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)

SAGAL: Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to Ray Magliozzi of Car Talk.

Hey, Ray.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Ray, how are you?

RAY MAGLIOZZI, BYLINE: I'm great. Well, you folks are having a lot of fun making fun of my 'peech (ph).

SAGAL: Yeah, we are.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We do it all the time. Usually, we don't let you listen. So...

MAGLIOZZI: (Laughter).

SAGAL: The question for you, Ray, is, have you - in your life of having a Boston accent, have you found it to be very sexy? Has it had that effect on the people you'd want it to have that effect on?

MAGLIOZZI: I think it worked for my brother for many years. I mean, think of all the wives and girlfriends he had.

SAGAL: Yeah, it's true.

(LAUGHTER)

MAGLIOZZI: And nobody had a worse Boston accent than he.

HELEN HONG: That is true. But was he - but were his wives and girlfriends also with the Boston accent?

MAGLIOZZI: Not all - no, no. Not all of them. No. No. I think he was a genuine charmer. I think it might have been the accent. Only took him so far, though. You know, they eventually saw through him, and they got rid of him.

SAGAL: Yeah, wow.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So as a kind of test, Ray, we have decided that - we've asked you to read a couple of romantic lines...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...From movies.

MAGLIOZZI: I can tell I'm not going to like this, but go ahead.

SAGAL: No, no, no. And so did you have those with you? We sent those to you.

MAGLIOZZI: No, you didn't send me anything.

SAGAL: Ah.

(LAUGHTER)

MAGLIOZZI: Should I have received a text message or something?

SAGAL: You should have received an email about three hours ago, but...

MAGLIOZZI: Oh, I haven't checked my email for two days.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. I'll just read them to you. You say them back to me in your most charming, sexy Boston accent. Ready?

MAGLIOZZI: I will do my best.

SAGAL: All right, here we go. Ready? So we're just going to start with this one. How about this - the heart knows what the heart wants.

MAGLIOZZI: Oh, so you want me to say...

SAGAL: I do.

MAGLIOZZI: The heart knows what the heart wants.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's good.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right.

HONG: Oh, it's getting hot in here.

KURTIS: Helen is flushed.

SAGAL: All right. How about this one? I wish I knew how to quit you.

MAGLIOZZI: I wish I knew how to quit you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not a lot of big difference there. All right, we'll move on. How about this? Draw me like one of your French girls, Jack.

MAGLIOZZI: Oh, really?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

MAGLIOZZI: Draw me like one of your French girls, Jack - is that what you mean?

SAGAL: That's good. That's good.

MAGLIOZZI: OK.

SAGAL: Last one. Last one. Ready? My tastes are very singular.

MAGLIOZZI: Oh. My tastes are very singular.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Smoldering. You know what that was? That was fifty shades of Ray.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Ray Magliozzi, everybody, from Car Talk.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Great to talk to you, Ray.

MAGLIOZZI: See you later.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "TALK TO ME")

CLAUDE PELOUSE: (Singing) I said talk to me, you said talk to me. Hey, baby, talk to me. Hey, baby, talk to me. I said talk to me, you said talk to me. For there's no fish in the sea.

SAGAL: Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Helen...

HONG: Yes.

SAGAL: Gwyneth Paltrow is expanding her Goop empire.

HONG: Ugh.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Stop Gwyneth. Gwyneth.

SAGAL: She's adding a new section of her website offering products and advice to whom?

HONG: Is it men?

SAGAL: Yes...

HONG: Oh.

SAGAL: It is men.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

HONG: Oh.

SAGAL: We all know Gwyneth Paltrow has this empire called Goop, which offers all these wonderful things for women. Well, now Ms. Paltrow has launched Goop Men, featuring a men's clothing line and male-focused articles such as what to do about low testosterone and how to have difficult conversations with friends - like the one where you tell your friends you're getting lifestyle advice from goop.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: She gives the worst advice. And now she's trying to give the worst advice to more people.

SAGAL: That's what she's doing.

HONG: Didn't she at some point tell women to put, like, a thing in their vaginas?

SAGAL: Yes.

HONG: Remember that?

SAGAL: And we men are very nervous about what she's going to tell us to do.

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Yeah.

JORDAN CARLOS: Oh, boy.

HONG: I - Gwyneth, just - you need a vacation.

SAGAL: No, the men's goop...

(LAUGHTER)

HONG: Men's Goop.

CARLOS: It's men's Goop.

SAGAL: It's men's Goop.

HONG: Eww.

CARLOS: Gross. Gross. First of all, gross. Yeah.

SAGAL: I think it's actually called Goop Fellas (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It has men's beauty products, like the $140 jar of replenishing night cream, which is the same exact night cream available in the women's store, but the men's version comes in a beer can.

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT JR: What is night cream?

SAGAL: It's a...

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: It's like a - it's a cream that you put on your face at night as part of your night ritual. And as a millennial man, I have one.

HONG: Are you...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Do you really?

HONG: Jordan, are you on Goop Fellas?

CARLOS: I wrote it down. I was, like, Goop Fellas...

HONG: Are you dude-gooping (ph)?

CARLOS: Yeah, I might.

SAGAL: We just met today, and I said to myself, that man moisturizes.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLOS: Cocoa butter, where you at? Absolutely. OK. Not a black crowd. Got it. All right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Didn't we warn you?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is basically "Get Out" without the murders. I mean, this is...

(SOUNDBITE OF DAN STEIN'S "COOL DADDY!") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.