Missing a Parent on Mother's Day and Father's Day

Jun 22, 2018

The loss of a parent is a very difficult emotional experience.  It becomes even more difficult if one was not prepared for this loss.  It does not matter at what age a parent dies.  The grief is the same. 

This grief may become more visible on days like Mother's Day and Father's Day.  Media and social media constantly remind us to send flowers or buy gifts for our parent.  Long waiting lines in restaurants remind us of the special time spent with our parents.

Pam Lavender, director of grief and community outreach at Kilpatrick Funeral Home, discussed the grief of Mother's Day and Father's Day.  "We all wish that we had another day, another minute, another summer with our parent."

Lavender suggested different ways that the sadness of watching others celebrate these special days may be addressed.  "Write your mother a letter and tell her the things you miss.  Even though she is not here, you can still write her a letter.  Or, for your father, you can do the same thing."

Another way of handling the sadness may be to "get together with all of your siblings and talk about your parent that you have lost or you can just spend the day with your own children." Or, "Serve others.  Helping others will make you feel good and you will make the other people's day also."

Lavender pointed out that "you can prepare yourself for that day so that you don't have any unexpected anxiety."